google translate tried to teach me to say it

so i'm making some kind of asian inspired braised short ribs.  my short ribs, however, are boneless because i don't eat meat on the bone.  ever.  ask anyone.  i had to make a lot of strange substitutions for what would usually be in the braising juices and sauces, but whatevs. i did it.  so here's my recipe for braised short ribs over rice.  yields 6 servings, cook time + prep time ~3.5 hours, ~2.4 carbs per serving

ingredients

1 head cauliflower - shredded with a cheese grater
4 tbsp almond butter
1 can sugar free orange soda
10 tbsp chili puree
2 lb sliced boneless short ribs
1 tsp beef base
5 cloves garlic - 3 chopped, 2 minced
1 tbsp splenda brown sugar blend
2 cup low sodium soy sauce
0.75 cup rice wine vinegar - sugar free and low sodium
2 inches peeled sliced ginger
2 cups water
0.25 cups sesame oil
one bundle green onions, sliced
4 thin stalks lemon grass crushed and broken into large pieces
2 tbsp butter

• preheat oven to 350F.
• mix 4 tbsp chili, 1.5 cup soy sauce, 3 cloves of garlic, ginger, lemongrass, 1.5 cups soda, the white part of the sliced onions, 0.5 cup vinegar, 2 tbsp brown sugar, beef base in dutch oven.  add beef.  top with water until beef is covered.  put lid on dutch oven and put it in the oven for ~2.5 - 3 hours until beef is hella tender.  yah i said it.  hella.  i'm using orange soda here.  i don't know.  i needed some citrus and i was walking up and down the drink isle and yah.  i chose orange soda.  
• while the beef is cooking you can make the "rice."  cauliflower rice is super easy.  grated with a cheese grater it sort of looks like rice.  in a medium sized pan over medium, heat butter and add cauliflower.  stir it frequently until it starts to get a bit golden and is soft enough that you want it eat it.  put aside.
• after beef is tender remove just beef carefully from dutch oven and put it aside.  use a fine sieve to remove all the chunks from the from the beefy sauce and discard.  make sure there's not any precious beef in there or you will be sad.  add the rest of the ingredients to the dutch oven as well as the chunk-free beef sauce and over high heat on the stove reduce sauce down until there's just enough to coat the beef.  stir constantly, or else it will stick to the bottom of the pan.  it will be like a thick syrup when done. taste it.  you might need to add pepper or something.  you probably won't.  serve it over a scoop of "rice"

this recipe was so crazy out of the box for me.  and boyfriend and i *loved* it.  so fantastic.  full of sweet and spicy, creamy flavors and really really really tender.  there is absolutely no way you could possibly tell this was low carb.